Meltdown at Art Class

It has happened before, and it will happen again... my students lost it. The culprits this time J (on the right), who was so disgusted with her attempts at squirrel portraiture that tears and laughter burst out at the same time causing a phenomenon I like to call 'Art Class Meltdown'. It is of course contagious as can be seen by her friend D. Another student L had a camera, and I have permission from the lovely ladies to post the photo. If your art goes wrong the best thing you can do is laugh... and cry... and laugh some more.

In the past I have myself attended many art classes, some of which are sophisticated affairs with little talk, serious application and classical music. This, as can be seen (and heard) if you are walking past is not the sort of class I run.


Last week I took a day off, and checking my emails found I had sold 3 postcards from my shop, all with seashell art on, to someone in Minsk. Amazing! On the same day I sold this:

'Five Bar Gate, Marks hall'. Informing boyfriend happily of my 'day off' sales he said "perhaps you should take more time off!" The painting sold from some holiday homes in Nayland near Colchester, where the owners are kind enough to display my work.


Not currently having any illustration commissions, it is back to fine art, and a trip to Felixstowe on a cold and windy sunday gave me a little inspiration. The photos of the derelict boats being particularly interesting. In the end I settled on this one:

I started it with pure watercolour painting in mind, but decided it would be perfect for line and wash. Starting with a sepia dip pen drawing...

and then adding the paint in loose washes, using gum arabic to add shine and softness to the water reflections:

At the same time I was working on a couple of mosaics. The first one was supposed to be a red and white light house, until I realised that all my red crockery had been used up by students on the mosaic day I taught last year. So I turned it into a simple flower, with a mirror centre:

(The bar visible in the mirror is my camera tripod!) Luckily my friend S has since dropped a big red casserole dish, so the lighthouse may yet be made! I also made a vintage style heart from floral crockery and lovely warm blues:

So the production of artwork is going well. On a less happy note I can reveal I am harbouring a serial killer:

After the success of his mouse exploits he has moved up to massive pigeons. Despite it being so large he could barely carry it, he attempted to bring it into the kitchen. His delight at his kill was boundless and two days later whilst I was teaching a new private student in the studio, I glanced out of the window to see him happily torturing a poor blackbird. "Please excuse me" I said politely, dashing in the house and instructing boyfriend to get it off him. Another broken neck. As a member of the RSPB and having a genuine fondness for birds, I am mortified by this behaviour. I think a louder bell on his collar may be necessary.


I wish I could say he is wracked by grief and repentance, but I am afraid I would be lying like a rug. Gimlet sleeps soundly, untroubled by his conscience...

Musicals

Above: Happisburgh Beach

 

Well, you will be relieved to know I had my identity confirmed by the government. I was worried for a bit I might have turned into someone else. Unless maybe it was Lady Gaga, because then I would get to wear mad clothes which would be fun. Except for the meat dress, having been vegetarian for over 20 years I would have to wear something in cabbage leaves.

Last week being half term the teen was away with relatives. I finally finished the world’s slowest painting of Happisburgh (pronounced haze-borough don't ask me why, its Norfolk, they don't do logic) and the tower of London and other models went to the printer. It was a tough one, Elizabeth 1^st was particularly tricky as her skirts were so wide, and simply didn’t fit into the model template. In the end she looked like this:

However, just when I thought that one was hard, along came Westminster abbey:

I have to say painting it is difficult, but the model maker is a minor genius in my opinion. Presently I am working on illustrating the figures, which include members of the royal wedding party in outfits which are total guesswork, a rolls Royce and a horse. Cars and horses; my least favourite subjects; I will not be beaten however, after Boris Johnson on a bicycle, I think I can cope with anything.

I thought last week would be quiet, with the teen away but I was mistaken. Boyfriend decided to go through all his old tapes in order to put the best tracks on the computer and throw the cassettes away. I did the same a few years ago, but skipped the first couple of steps and proceeded straight to binning the tapes (life’s too short, iTunes are cheap.)

The teen plays constant music, which drives me nuts, but more because of the volume than anything else. Her taste is not too bad, and varies from old stuff through to German Industrial Metal (yes, that is an actual genre, apparently). Her liking for vintage stuff is of course a comedy of errors. “I love the ‘80’s” she told me dreamily one day whilst listening to Buddy Holly.

Boyfriend on the other hand has no need for lyrics in his music, or indeed for much that could be described as a tune. Some kind of maddening repetitive beat with added synthesizers that goes on for about 8 minutes is his thing. I could try telling him that the ‘90’s called and they want their illegal rave music back, but I am not sure it would have much effect.

Gimlet has on the other hand had a fairly peaceful week. Apart from catching his first mouse (SO proud of it! Yuk), he has been mainly doing what he does best:

 I mean what are humans doing as a species, working so hard? Why didn't we evolve to nap all day while a (supposedly) more intelligent animal gets us everything we need?

Identity crisis

Had to share this hysterical conversation I just had with the tax credits office. After some preamble here’s what happened:

Civil servant tax office bloke:   “You will have to have an appointment with someone at your local office; I can’t help you over the phone”

Me:   “Why? Can’t you just send me a form?”

Civil servant tax office bloke:   “No I am not allowed to send you a form, I cannot verify your identity, I would need to ask you lots of security questions”

Me:    “I don’t mind, go ahead!”

Civil servant tax office bloke:   “I can’t, I don’t have enough information about you”

Me:   “Just look at my old records, you must have tons of information about me”

Civil servant tax office bloke:   “I am not allowed to access your previous information”

Me:    “Because?”

Civil servant tax office bloke:   “The computer won’t let me access that information until I verify your identity, and I cannot verify your identity”

(This I would add was after I had given him my National insurance number, date of birth, current and previous addresses and partner’s name.)

These are the people who run our government departments… be afraid, be very afraid.

Fairies, Cats & Other Characters

Well, the last batch of illustrations are finished (fairies above) and apparently on their way with the model company to the Spring Fair in Birmingham's NEC. It's a new company so they are no doubt hoping for lots more clients/contacts and work. I have heard good things about trade fairs, they can be expensive to exhibit at, but generally if you have a good product I think the rewards are there. 

I finally got round to photographing the first two models and figures I illustrated, here is Big Ben, along with Boris Johnson on a bicycle that so amused the teen: 

And here is Norwich Castle, with suitably medieval characters:

They look big, but in real life are only a few inches high, the little people being about 5cm max!

The Tower of London, Fairies and everything else were collected on Monday, and on Tuesday I did the second of two workshops for clients of the Mind Charity in Colchester. The workshops were arranged by Slackspace which uses empty shops, unwanted in the recession, for art projects. Its a fabulous idea, but sadly their budget seems not to stretch to heating. Despite my layers of clothes (I learnt the first time that these were sub-zero painting workshops) I still froze.

The people who came were not mentally disabled (as I have worked with before), these were people suffering from various mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety. They were great to work with and seemed to enjoy making the art, but I couldn't help notice how much they talked about their pasts. Despite being in some cases middle aged, their (often very harrowing) childhoods were still very much with them. I have read that the happiest people are those who live in the present, and I think it is true. Whatever has happened in the past, some people seem able to draw a line under it, whilst others let it invade their daily lives. Very sad.

Whilst I was freezing in Colchester boyfriend applied himself to building a proper drain for the studio, rather than the 'big bucket' method it currently employs. Gimlet helped with the concreting (he was obviously the artistic director.)

 When not walking in wet concrete he applied himself vigorously to napping. We are amazed by how stretchy he is. Yes one cat really can take up a (large) two seater sofa. The picture is dark due to the black sofa, but I dare say you can make him out:

 I also managed to take my day off on Wednesday, but made the classic mistake of forgetting that boyfriend was working nightshift this week. All I will say is it's no fun creeping about the house when someone is sleeping, and I was unable to use my sewing machine due to the noise. In the end I wandered round the shops for a bit, and finally ended up back in the studio after all. I didn't work though, just spent the day altering some dress patterns and internet shopping with the radio on. But at least it wasn't work, and I could make as much noise as I wanted.

The layout for the Westminster Abbey model has arrived, currently it appears to be a selection of random and complex geometric shapes, but hopefully during the course of next week, as I scale up the pieces I will start to get an idea of what goes where. Fairies are a walk in the park in comparison...

Have Studio, Will Paint

Finally, the studio is finished, and I am getting used to a whole new way of working. 

Years ago in an art magazine I read an article about a successful artist, who had produced all his artwork in a tiny backroom, perched in front of a coffee table. With success came more money, and he built a big studio, only to find that inspiration did not strike, and the space failed to live up to his expectations. This is always a worry, that when we get the thing we want, it doesn't turn out to be what we hoped. 

Well I can say with confidence, having a studio is GREAT. It is warm, peaceful, and I get at least twice as much work done. Even the cat has his own place, (Every artist needs a muse):

 Unfortunately he cannot be persuaded to stay on his blanket, or indeed to wipe the mud off his feet:

Luckily he has so far not managed to get on the big table where I produce artwork. He also likes to sit with the (tasteful) Gnomes that boyfriend kindly placed on the decking out front, which makes for an amusing site:

Having finally gained workspace I first finished four mosaics I started recently:

A flower with black grout (lucky you can't see how my manicure looked after this one)...

 A romantic affair made from some of the smashed victorian crockery an artist friend gave me...

A fish on a wooden base...

 

and an abstract spiral made from a selection of bits and pieces...

And just to get back into painting, I finally finished this watercolour of Layer Marney Tower, only 6 months after I started it!

 
In between this I was catching up on paperwork and emails. Then at the start of last week I received a sample of the products I have been illustrating. This one is Norwich castle, I will post some photos of it built (it kept the teen amused for part of Sunday) next time.

 
Since then I have illustrated the Tower of London, 2 Ravens, Henry the 8th, Elizabeth the 1st, Colonel Blood (chap who nearly got away with nicking the crown jewels) and a Beefeater. For the same print run, but a different project I also illustrated a fairy house, 3 fairies, a treasure chest and 2 pirates.  

I have also provisionally booked a gallery for myself and my super saturday students to have our first exhibition in October. They appear to be excited and terrified in equal measure. It's a lot of work, but should be fun. 

A painting of a local sea view was started last week, but I am not sure when it will be finished, it's the end of the month and the accounts need doing. And apparently Westminster Abbey needs illustrating (Royal Wedding anyone?) Tomorrow I spend part of the day in Colchester, teaching a workshop for clients of the Mind charity.

At some stage, I am determined to take a day off this week!

Gimlet’s First Christmas

Technically speaking, not his first Christmas, but since his past is shrouded in mystery, I count the one just gone as number 1. On the human side we decided against decorations this year. The studio being so close to finished, and the house being largely ignored, I simply couldn’t add to the mess and long overdue DIY jobs by putting up tinsel and a tree. As for what Gimlet would do to a tree, it has to be left to the imagination, but since he still seems to be half kitten, and is prone to manic and somewhat violent play attacks, I don’t think a spruce would last long.

Even Santa was charmed and left him a present:

What is it?

Toy! Chase it round and round! Kill it! Rip it to shreds! Yay!

The teen had a nice time too, although she was supposed to be with her Grandparents for a few days, but the snow put paid to their journey up, so she spent much of the holidays lazing about. Unlike boyfriend and I, who at that age only came home to eat and pick up our bikes, the teen refuses to do anything. Despite having lots of friends, it is just too much effort to contact them or arrange to meet up. In despair at her constant whinging and boredom I sent her to the library. She came back with a selection of new age pseudo self-help psychic rubbish. Titles included ‘Harnessing the 8^th Chakra’, ‘You know more than you think’ (I doubt that) and contained topics on how to find your ‘Super -subconscious’ and communicating with spirits. It gave the adults in the household endless fun as we mercilessly poked fun at this selection of badly written rubbish.

On the plus side she seems to have become less interested in the whole Wicca/Witchcraft thing. As she explained sadly the other day, Witches are supposed to go on pilgrimages. Obviously this involves a) effort and b) finding your door key, and c) going somewhere. Religion: so exhausting… Now she is back at school with her friends she is far happier, although she would never ever admit it.

As Christmas was a simple affair we used the holidays to finish the studio and boyfriend took some time to mend/rebuild/fix a few computers.

Pop Quiz: how many computers can you fit in one small spare room?

Answer: impossible to say, they breed while I am sleeping…

Gimlet meanwhile has become a studio cat, acquainting himself with all areas:

Exploring the cupboards:

Hanging system? No, it’s another cat toy, yay!

The big table, perfect for hiding under when you don’t want to be picked up:

Favourite of all is a manic game of football, played on the shiny laminate floor with foil ball, whilst crashing into furniture.

Lastly on New Year’s day I entertained a few students and other artists in my new studio with a coffee and cake type open day. I managed to produce 3 cakes (no photos, too busy eating) which was a minor miracle considering I am using the old gas cooker left by the previous elderly occupant. To say it’s basic is an understatement. It burns anything placed in the rear third of the oven, and has no internal light. A large garden torch is kept next to the cooker so I can see if dinner is cooked. Unfortunately people tend to wander off with this leaving me yelling “Who’s got the oven light?” 

Next post I will put up some studio photos and the mosaics I have at last finished… A belated happy new year to everyone!

Modern technology and other horrors

Well, the mosaic course went well. It was a long day, but good messy fun and time to catch up with a couple of students I hadn’t seen for a while. Everyone agreed it was a tricky technique, but the good thing about mosaic is that even if your design is less than perfect, the pieces are just so darn pretty it still looks nice! Here are some of the creations we had by the end of the day...

A pretty circle;

This lady bought some lovely ceramic tiles with her;

Another cute fish;

An abstract stars and moons design;

Simplicity always works;

One of my regular students created this delicate beaded design;

Flowers used to make modern designs;

Metallic paint used to good effect;

Yes, that's a handbag mirror in this pretty mosaic;

 One of my favourites, a simple sail boat with mirror sails;

Look carefully and you will find a mermaid here;

This one was thrown together quickly at the end of the day, yet works fantastically well;

Another of my favourites, a fabulous funky bird;

Many are unfinished, and students were given a sheet to take home to enable them to complete the work at home. Sometimes grout just needs a bit longer to dry...

After that successful, if tiring day, the week went rapidly downhill, due to that blight of modern life, computers. Boyfriend is a genius with computers; if it can be done he can do it. It’s not his job, just an obsession. So when I purchased this lovely little shuttle computer, I knew he would build it and set it up for me.

Which he did, super! Then he installed Windows 7 and the problems started. Don’t get me wrong, Windows 7 worked just fine, until I tried to get all my old files over.

Years ago I used to keep all my students and contacts details on record cards, and that worked fine. But I was seduced by computers. You can store everything on me they said, less room, less mess, update whenever you like... So now all my contacts are in Outlook Express. Email addresses, phone numbers, and most important of all those little notes that remind me who people are, where I met them, which classes they have attended before.

But Outlook Express cannot be easily transferred to Outlook (the more advanced version of the same program). And Outlook Express cannot be used with Windows 7; indeed it is now obsolete and will only be supported for another 3 years or so. After about two days of trying very clever stuff indeed, boyfriend had to concede that all he could do is get some basic email addresses across. No formatting, no details, just addresses. “This is NOT normal!” Said boyfriend, pointing at my complex filing system and billion or so sub-folders, as I started on my third sulk of the day.

I am not sure at what point I lost it: Not when I found that all my Outlook Express details couldn’t be transferred. Not even when I discovered that my graphics program Paint Shop Pro 8 is unsupported by Windows 7. I think it was when I discovered all of my word files had been converted into ‘Read Only’ files for no apparent reason other than it darn well felt like it.  Super, every type of work I do on the PC, now ground to a complete halt.

“Microsoft are ruining my life!” I sobbed. With the unfinished studio, a house stuck in 70’s décor hell, Christmas looming and our lovely new cat happily kicking cat litter everywhere as the vet says he must stay indoors until the next set of injections, I just can’t deal with the computer imploding too.

Boyfriend just sighed... he has seen it all before apparently. He had of course kept a copy of all my old hard drive, for the time being I am back on Windows XP, on my old PC.

Finally we have had snow here, not as bad as Scotland where people got stuck in their cars in sub zero temperatures for over 15 hours...

But enough to freeze the river Stour in places!